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I never forget her. Never have, never will. I may be distracted by the toxicity I face in school, may be distracted by the happiness of being with people who make me happy, may be lost sometimes in my thoughts that even I cannot fathom. But forget her? Pfft. Never.

I smile, I laugh. Which is really good. But at night, when I’m alone, whilst I’m looking at her picture… Yeah, the usual. I cry. I used to wail (silently), you know? Like bawl out, screaming without a sound, asking disbelievingly why she had to go. Seems unreal that’s it’s been a year and a month, and 16 days since I last heard her voice and saw her still, cold body and face.

I could still remember what people kept on telling me after what happened. I’m so sorry, life goes on, you’re the mother of the family now, she loved you so much, you were her reason for surviving, etc. Β Yeah, she was mine, too. That’s why I wanted to die when she left. Left this world. Left my Dad, my then 9-year-old brother. Left me.

Hey, this is not an emo post. I’m actually glad tears aren’t falling down my face as I’m typing this, unlike last year, just a mention of the word “Mom” makes me depressed and want to throw myself into the pits of hell, wailing in agony and grief. But a post regarding her is quite connected to new social media, so don’t go chewing me off yet.

Here goes my “what if” list. Out of the many.

1. What if she had a Facebook account?

I’m quite envious of some of my classmates and friends who have their parents on their “Friends” list (though it really sounds weird). Up to some point, it seems nice. Until they see that tagged picture of you in a sexy pose and a drink in your hand while in a party hosted by your organization. Gee, that scenario is so great.

But I do think about it. What if she had an FB account, and she invited me to be her friend? What if she had a Twitter account, and she started following me? It would seem that the online world would not have much hold on me since I’m quite limited in my online actions. She was very strict and conservative. But, I remember her allowing me liberties since she trusted my rational, responsible, intellectual mind. That I am old and smart enough to know the consequences of my actions.So, then again, it might be fun to have her online.

And so the question continues: What if?

2. What if UnliCall arrived way earlier?

Telebabad. That’s what. Every minute I’m out of the classroom.

I’ll be honest: I didn’t reply that often to her text messages containing “Haus ka na?” It’s one of the many things I truly regret. I kept turning it in my head how much she wanted to hear from me more often than I updated her back then. I feel that I am such a bad daughter because of that. I should have. I could have. But I didn’t.

Oh wait. No what if’s here. Just regret.

3. What if Heaven had Wi-fi?

She still wouldn’t be able to contact me. Did God give her a laptop? A desktop? A netbook? I sure hope He did.

But now that I think about it, she still wouldn’t be able to surf the Internet well. She doesn’t know how to do so! *chuckles* I can still remember when she would shriek at me, “Anak, anong nangyari? Bakit nawala? Ay, bumalik! Ay, tatay mong kalbo, nawala ulit! Ayoko na!” Don’t worry. The computer’s fine. She wasn’t.

One more: What if God taught her how to now that she’s up there? That would be cool. πŸ˜‰

Mama, my beloved Mama, you are always in my heart, my mind, my memories. I wish I had the chance to teach you better how the Net works, or show you games other than Zuma (which you loved tremendously). I wish I was there when you were in pain. I wish I was there when you breathe your last breath. I wish I was holding your hand while it was still warm with life that was slowly ebbing away from you. I wish you’re still alive to finally see your wish fulfilled: that of me graduating on time. I wish. I hope. I pray.

19 years later, you're still as beautiful. πŸ™‚

I love you. Always.

Finding the One. Being with that person. Is it something that should be forced? Maybe, sometimes, you have to let fate take the wheel… and take you to him/her. On its own, on the street or the mall one day. Or maybe on a randomly-generated online chat room.

One of the prettiest and sexiest girls in my batch, Ms. Patricia Sy, introduced me to this site, omegle.com. Basically, it’s a site that allows you to chat one-on-one with someone named “Stranger” and you (who is also called “You”) can talk about anything under the sun or the moonlit night (and by that, I mean anything). You can just type, or have a video chat, and if you find the “stranger” boring or offensive, you can simply disconnect. With or without saying good-bye.

I’ve tried it once, just for the fun of it (so that I’ll be credible enough to blog about it). Not too bad. I’m just glad I’m not the same 13-year-old girl that shrieks at the sign of any word that can be interpreted in a sexual point of view. Yes, somebody tried to engage me on that level. That’s why there’s a “disconnect” button. Regardless, the website is genius. Created by an 18-year-old. Darn money-making teenagers who have time to do these stuff.

Virtual world gone (more) vague.

But omegle isn’t the only one that does random meets a.k.a. speed dating online. Another website offers this feature that makes the whole find-mr.-right chase easier. Chatroulette.com’s difference is that it disallows obscenity (though this is not really well-checked), and video is mandatory. Ugh. I tried it (again, credibility), and of course, I didn’t know how it worked! It was a good thing no one was on the other end of the cam, so my identity is safe. πŸ˜€

This site is simple in nature. All white, mic and camera controls, it even has buttons such as “complain”, “stop”, and “switch”, which I think are all equivalent to “disconnect” in omegle. You can even give feedback *claps*. On the lower part of the site is the link “meet someone.” Hn. Tempting, but no. With all the harms that we know of in the Internet, I’d rather be a non-risk taker than be surprised by something I never wished to see.

Hey, that’s just me. If you’re that adventurous, why don’t you try the two? Maybe your “stranger” is just waiting for you to go online and turn on your webcam. πŸ˜‰

Er. That sounded wrong. πŸ˜€

Nope. Not heroin. Or coke. Or opium. Could be chocolate.

I have found something new that I can divulge in, with easy access. And… my professor Barry introduced it to me. Required it, in fact.

My group and I did a workshop on it. πŸ˜‰

Finally got it, didn’t you? Yup. I am currently into, none other than… Podcasts.

You all already know this (due to the fact that we lectured about this as well), but podcasts were previously known as “webcasts,” before Apple took them and made them exclusive to iTunes. Since iTunes links with your iPods, it was then named what it is called today.

Yes, the most well-known podcasts are found and downloaded on iTunes. I’ve had iTunes for quite some time now, but I didn’t know about this feature, even the fact it is free (the main reason I never go to the “Podcasts” section is because I thought I would have to pay a fee or something).

I don’t have an iPod. I don’t really find it necessary (refer to “Blame it on (the) Apple” blog post), but that doesn’t mean I can’t have my dose of fun. Being the cheapskate that I am, as soon as I found out that I could download all the Comedy Central and Dilbert podcasts for FREE *echoes*, well, let’s just say I didn’t hold back.

The important features of a podcast are: fun/informative, easy to download, and hassle-free enjoyment. No more streaming!

No one knows comedy like Comedy Central.

One fun thing is that podcasts aren’t limited to audios; videos exist too. It isn’t specific to one topic or audience; it caters to a lot. A variety of podcasts exist out there, waiting for you to discover them. Β Another is that it isn’t limited to iTunes. There are various sites that provide podcasts on their own sites without requiring iTunes (but most do… As expected).

Most fun part? You can make your own! πŸ˜€

If you need a podcast that says how to do so, just contact me. I can upload πŸ˜‰

This is featured in You Tube right now:

This video/interview triggered me to look back on a few things and a few memories. Sesame Street (obviously), Batibot, Sineskwela… A few shows wherein the most violent thing that could happen would be the mascot tripping on his own feet. To trigger a few memories from you as well, look at this:

Pong Pagong and Kiko Matsing! I missed you!

And this.

Tayo na sa Sineskwela, tuklasin natin ang siensya!

I find it simply amazing. To think that these shows existed when we were just 4 or 5 years old. And yet, they are still present in the media stream. Well, not exactly the shows. Maybe we could attribute their continued presence due to the fact that some schools still use the VHS now turned VCD/DVD copies of these shows, especially the educational ones, for the elementary students to watch.

They’re upping themselves too, you know. They have Facebook fan pages! And Batibot is coming back to town on TV5! Weee! πŸ˜€ Apparently, our childhood things and memories still won’t allow us to let go. They can still co-exist with the present times, just revamped to fit the new generation of children (who are more pilosopo, to be honest). And to keep up they also utilize the wonders of the Internet, NSM. They don’t just have impact in our memories. They now have digital footprints as well! πŸ™‚

I may not be a kid anymore, but I'm still excited to see them on TV again. Sigh.

The use of the Internet to re-plug themselves in the main stream media is a good move, compared to another use of NSM (refer to a previous blog post). Not only is it because this tool is so part of our daily lives right now, but also because the coming generation they are now going to cater to (yes, you li’l bro with an FB account) is well acquainted with it.

How do you reach out to your audience again? *waits for reply* That’s right! Know their habits. Make it a practice, and improve your methods to adapt to their needs and wants. In this case, they’ll be connecting more to kids who think cellphones are so overrated, and parents who want to cling to some shred of reality that they are still in control.

But, anyway. πŸ™‚

As for me, I’m just finding one thought funny right now: The idea that I can finally be friends with my childhood idols Elmo and Big Bird. A dream come true!

Maybe they’ll let me visit them some time. On Sesame Street, of course. πŸ˜‰

That stands for “before Facebook.” πŸ˜‰

This is just sad.

Well, before FB, there was what?

Multiply. Friendster. Myspace. The usual. You know, social networking and all that. Nothing much.

Then, came Facebook. Comments, groups, fan pages, status updates. Yeah yeah, you’ve heard it all. Read it from other blogs.

BUT. What people overlook most of the time are the applications. True, you play those FB games. You take those quizzes that aren’t even half-true (unless you want them to be). And some people think, “Thank you Facebook, you are so awesome, you gave my life meaning through Sorority Life and Mafia Wars!” πŸ˜€ Only thing to be detested are the credits that you have to buy (only through PayPal!) and the need to invite a lot of people in order to reach a certain level.

Online flash games. Played them before FB did. Did you, too? If yes, you know y8? Sure hope you do. Or at least, did. Alien Hominid!

You have this, FB? Huh? Kick-ass!

I remember when I first had an account, the hottest app/game was Restaurant City, and everyone was in a haste to gain that certain ingredient or fulfill that certain recipe, or the overused example Farmville, wherein the tasks or growing crops was so in. And Pet Society. Oh my beloved Salem, I am so sorry I can’t tend to you anymore. Remember Friends For Sale? πŸ˜€

I don’t have anything against people who play these games. πŸ™‚ But I’ll have to be honest. After a while it got… boring, not to mention that a lot of other games where sprouting everywhere. Too much games, yet only one concept: play this game, convince your friends to join, and level up if you buy a certain play money. Otherwise, you’re stuck, baby. Nowadays, I play for the purpose of distracting myself purposefully from academics *coughs*, or whenever I actually remember I cooked a dish in Cafe World and just want to have an added point for self-actualization by checking it.

But remember that time you played for the sake of finishing the game? Wherein there was a restart button and all? I’m not saying that Facebook games should have this. Rather, the concept of online flash games has been a bit muddled ever since FB came. Games from y8 looked a tad “cheaper” all of a sudden (maybe due to the website layout). I don’t mean to say flash games are gone. But with the advantage of FB games being near the SNS source, these games have, well, an advantage of most likely being played.

Nevertheless, there’s nothing wrong with playing both! πŸ˜€ There are games that are only in FB, and there are those only in y8 and the like. There is still a distinct line between the two that can be enjoyed by users all the more. Governor of Poker 2 is one, in contrast to Texas Poker. πŸ˜‰

So go ahead and play. No one’s stopping you but yourself… or your backlogs. πŸ™‚

Can you hear (the birds) tweeting?

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